I called all three of my major crushes I have had in my life over to my place for a sandwich luncheon, as well as to make an important announcement.
“You all have done a great job as my crushes.” I announced through my bullhorn, “I have longed for the three of you for years and have enjoyed my heavily inflated memories of what it was that I thought made you all better than other girls. But at this time, I have decided to admit to myself that you are flawed humans. And I will no longer hold you all in such high regard. You are free to go on as normal people now, just like you always wanted.”
I handed my three crushes certificates of achievement. Two of them didn’t really remember who I was and one of them is still mad at me for breaking up with her for a girl I no longer like.
They all seemed to enjoy the sandwiches.
Read all of my other short stories at thecaseydonahue.com/shortstories